So Vin Diesel just retweeted me on twitter…wicked.
In other news, lots of casting over the past few weeks, more coming up. Good stuff. Doing a music video with Rob Savage and a wonderful selection of many of the actors I have been working with over the past few years.
Have also joined a gym so will look like Vin or Gwyneth Paltrow imminently….obviously x
So its been two-ish weeks since I moved house and life has improved dramatically.
I am closer to work commute wise, only 15/20 minutes by one tube line - my new housemates are generous and friendly - I have been visiting lots of friends - I have been working hard over the past few days on improving my casting profiles and applying for jobs. I have two great auditions coming up, for a very good script and a piece that will be performed at RADA.
I feel content, I feel happy. I feel like I am in control of what I am doing and that I have a tremendous amount to offer.
I have been toying with the idea of changing jobs. I have applied for a job at apple part time. The interview process is going well - but I can’t ignore the fact that my current job gives me 4 days off.
I don’t know. I feel like being in an artistic field makes you split your life in two - one side to express what it is you feel you can by being an actor half the time - and then doing a job that only exists to pay the bills the other half of the time. Half lives.
Not for long.
x
So I moved house into my beautiful new split level mezzanine bedroom in my beautiful new flat. In heaven. Love it. I have been feeling rather wonderful over the last few days, emotionally, but physically totally bedraggled as I have a savage cold. Keeping me up at night, drowning in….well anyway. We are filming my scenes in Shadow tonight, finally! I have to wonder around the flat in my pants (not sure whether I should buy a new pair of black pants especially?) - do male actors think about this stuff? I dunno! Should be a good laugh as ling ad the lighting doesn’t pick up on cellulite…which I obviously don’t have…haha. I wonder at what point as an actress I’m going to drop to 6 stone, become superhuman, wake up looking perfect, marry the hottest man on earth and be totally competent at life? Is there a test?
X
This week has been a bit of a let-down. I was supposed to be doing three straight days of filming on Shadow Industry and I was really looking forward to it. Acting is a vocation - when I’m doing it I feel complete and I was dying to get back on set after my weekend of waitressing.
Unfortunately, turns out that our locations all fell through so I was uneeded.
I have been mooching around. Feeling a bit depressed. Spending far too much money. Upside is that I have seen lots of my friends and I have bought a sketchbook so I have been doing some drawing. I was drawing yesterday and I actually completely lost track of time - which is something that hasnt happened for a while so that was a good feeling.
I love acting and I love drawing and both give me a massive buzz if I think I have got a good likeness to life in either. I think acting wins but drawing is enough to get me through the slow patches.
I have done some agent nudging so lets see what happens….
x
Time for another update.
Shadow is going really really well. I have found pinning the character down on this one quite tricky, but at the same time its funny because I know exactly who she is.
Have been going back into all my training bits and notes and character construction ideas etc…in the hope of being able to somehow fabricate the criteria and character to consciously seep out of my pores when I’m on camera. I have done months and weeks of research, thinking about Fey and who she is and how she is and discovering with the director what he hopes to see etc…
Have realised what I already knew - in order to make her real I have to stay present in the moment in camera. Block out all the distractions. Try to feel as much as I can and hope that when it plays out on screen all the information will be there. I just want to make her real.
I read an article with a young actor recently but I forget who exactly. She was talking about becoming a great actress like Meryl Streep - she was saying how when you watch meryl you know its meryl - you don’t forget its her but you also appreciate the layers of character laid on top. It’s like, I imagine, seeing a great painting but seeing patches of bare canvas everywhere. I suppose that is actually acting - as in masterful pretending.
I think my rather untrained heart led style (if I even have one) is about trying to assimilate myself and the character in that moment on camera. Thinks get blurred. I think really great acting is the art of seperating urself and ur work completely.
X
Yesterday was the second shooting day on Shadow Industry. The location was the Ministry of Sound. It was Brilliant!!!
We got there at 20:30, did all the makeup, ate a few cookies, had some cups of coffee and then we headed into the club. I have never been there before and it did seem smaller than I imagined it would. My only real experience of Ministry of Sound has been from the compilation albums they sell and footage of ibiza and thousands of people dancing. Saying that, even empty it had such an amazing atmosphere and then when it packed up with people later in the evening it was even better.
We did the lines first with a few extras in the background, and then the club opened and we started shooting with all the real people who were coming in that night to have a dance. So we were drinking, dancing, performing together in character in front of the camera and about 100 people who had come in early when the club opened. It was such good fun! My character was trying to get Usman’s character to loosen up a bit and stop being such a square - so that was fun, being flirty and dancing to some really loud, really good dance music.
Had a drink with the guys afterwards as well. I love my job.
x
In my experience working in the game (by game I mean acting just to clarify) I have concluded that the main part of the job is taken up by waiting.
Waiting for work to come in, waiting for emails from my agent, waiting to start filming, waiting on set, waiting back-stage, waiting for lunch, waiting for films to be finished, waiting for films to come out, waiting to be paid - and in the meantime waiting on tables.
In this sense I believe that acting is very suited to the British as we are known for our love of waiting in line.
Tea and coffee and the internet, friends and books make the waiting part more enjoyable.
X
Today was the first day of shooting on Shadow Industry. It went very well, got loads of shots into the day given that we only had 5 hours to do 7 shots and of a very long and important conversation piece. Boom!
It was lovely to be back on set but it was an EARLY start at 7am for call time.
I have no idea what the shots look like yet but I hear good things and I can’t wait to shoot more.
Feels brilliant to be back on set again. Nowhere else that I would rather be.
x
Currently in Costa near Archway waiting to sign the agreement on my flat. I am falling asleep on the table while drinking a latte. You know when you are tired when you can fall asleep whilst drinking stimulants.
Seeing mark, eben and Paula tonight so that will be good. Get the Red Heart team.back together again over a pint.
X
Today I made a voice reel on Garage Band because I have limited resources and it probably sounds ok….ish. Got that voice reel down and now I can go to sleep knowing I did something very proactive for my career.
Woo!
x
I went to view a flat today in North London and it was a little stunner :)
The flat is this lovely, white washed Victorian building - walked in and there was jute flooring and then beautiful varnished wood flooring. The room itself is a double level - shelves and things below and then a double bed above with a little desk - so i can watch films on my laptop in bed.
Flatmates are a similar age to me and very intelligent phd people who like scrabble and silly tv and karaeoke - and we are all going for drinks tomorrow night…because THEY WANTED ME!!!
Its the kind of flat I would be really proud to bring people back to and hang out in and its close to work - good transport links - A BATH! - happiness.
The anxiety is over and I can finally look forward to my future.
Peace x
Today I am viewing a flat in Tuffnel Park, which is on the Northern Line and probably as far north as, but a bit east of, Hampstead Heath. All initial signs are good. I’m waiting to view the room, drinking a cup of tea in the arty farty kind of cafe that I like. Oddly, said cafe has an intriguing Buddha fountain by the door, which instead of evoking peace, looks more like the great man-god is suffering from an unending attack of incontinence. As long as he is at peace with that, then who am I to judge?
Once I have this house business sorted I am going to get my acting head on and work more on my career. I have a few ideas that I need to put into practise - firstly I’m going to put a voice acting reel together and send it out willy nilly to all the agencies in London.
In a few days I’m also going to get my hair cut for the role of Fey. I think my producer has an idea for it but we shall see. In doing my research I have found a really punky looking do that I quite like. But it could be a disaster if I am left to make that hair decision.
Actresses do talk an inordinate amount about our hair. Rivetting creatures of conversation.
I have to admit that I find it very amusing when people mistake me for a man because I have short hair. The priceless moment of backtracking when they realise I’m not.
Going to stop wittering on now.
Peace and dyoretics x
Hi tumblr followrs,
I have just come back from the border city of Carlisle where I have spend the past two weekends filming a short film called ‘The Gift’ with Jump Films. The film was helmed by the director, who is called Zachary Carl John Ord, and a lovely job he did too. It’s a great little script about a girl called Emma and her relationship with her Grandmother, who was played by the actress Jane Hayward, who is brilliant and it cannot be stressed enough. Everyone who worked on the film was ace. They worked as a great team and by the end I really felt like we had all bonded into a beautiful melted ball of bits of plastic - the plastic here representing the people in the cast and crew - like a great big melted scene of plastic army man carnage - except beautiful.
I am now back in London, having spent most of the evening viewing flats and eating an incredibly unsatisfactory segment of camembert on crackers. Tesco Camembert is fairly flavourless let it be known. Being back in london fills me with waves of stress - the sky is dark here and the cheese is nowhere near as good as cheese up north. Fact.
To make myself feel better about my fairly stressful situation of homelessness and shit cheese, I am listening the dulcet northern tones of the hairy bikers making pies and things.
I miss Carlisle and the friends I have made there.
I did see one nice flat today, and it seemed like I’d really hit it off with the other tenants but then I walked out of the door waving goodbye and came face to face with the next person to view the flat. He looked like a male model….not holding out much hope there.
Anyway I’m going to stop moaning as I have actually had a stunningly wonderful week, what with Strings AND The Gift loveage. I am chipper!
xxx
Yesterday I made the journey up to Shrewsbury to watch Strings. Strings was the first piece of professional acting work that I did after leaving university and it has turned out….well spot on. It’s beautiful, its got a lot of layers to look into and read from, its so sensitively done and the performanced in it are wonderful too. I wasn’t bad in it either! I feel so proud, and stunned, and validated as well. What a beautiful thing to be a part of. Kudos to Rob Savage and the fabulous actors and crew.
Now I am sat in a cafe in Shrewsbury waiting for off-peak train hours so I can get back to London and start my final rehearsal for Shadow Industry. I need a shower - woke up early to hitch a buddy down to the station and I haven’t looked at my face in the mirror yet….but on the plus side I’m wearing my new boots and i have managed to find a coffee shop that is giving away free cake?! Awesome.
In other news, still homeless but I’m going to get that sorted out next week fo sho.
Feeling pretty great about life right now.
X
I have to move out of my flat in three weeks and I haven’t found a new place to live. Mounting anxiety. I have made the discovery that when I’m feeling stressed like this I have dreams where I lose my fingers, or somebody else does….interesting no? X
